Woodshed Theology

Some years ago in a crusade message Billy Graham told the story of a heated argument between a teenager and his father. At one point the young man blurted out, "I didn't ask to be born!," to which the father replied, "Yes, and if you had, the answer would have been NO!"

It's true. We didn't ask to be born, but is that really a valid response to a life that isn't quite what we expected it to be? Who wouldn't want to live, as long as the conditions are always to our satisfaction? Plenty of money, excellent health and being surrounded by loving friends and family.

Discipline is a sensitive subject for me to write about. I grew up learning to obey the rules. In the military I was compelled to obey the rules. As a parent I enforced the rules. With all three experiences punishment was the method for restoring and maintaining order. While discipline and punishment are necessary to our development, I was clueless as to what they really meant. And for this I owe my daughters a great apology.

Discipline and punishment are often (but wrongly) used interchangeably to mean the same thing. Punishment is never effective if it breaks the spirit, causes lasting resentment or results in the punishee changing behavior only so as not to get caught, thus receiving more punishment. True discipline says, "I love you too much to allow you to behave badly." Now I never expected my drill sergeant to use that line on me. Military discipline is designed to bring a cohesive, single-minded structure to a unit with specific strategic goals. This type of training does tend to bring a measure of self-discipline into the life of the soldier that is often helpful following his or her tour of duty.

Discipline of our children, however, is much broader. It combines equal portions of love and tempered sternness to bring out the best behavior --- behavior that will mature, operate independently and be a vital source with which to raise the next generation. So how can we understand true discipline?

We get our cues from our Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus. I learned from God's rule book (the Bible) how to do good, but I never felt his love. Certainly not as I am now experiencing it. Looking back I can now see both his love and discipline at work in my life. Even while I wasn't getting it, he continued to care for me. He cared for me enough to let trials and stresses and heart attacks and failures and tears come into my life, not to harden me, but to mold me into his image. It's an ongoing process, and I am confident that he will see it through to perfection.

In an odd sort of way, discipline without love still gives a sense of security. But how much greater is guiding, loving, correcting, loving, directing? And did I mention Loving? That's exactly what we're getting from above every single day. Go and do likewise.
STEVE