Things I Don't Want To Be . . . Part 3

7. I don't want to be afraid.
Fear is related to cowardice but goes much further in that it spans a broad spectrum ranging from mild apprehension to absolute terror. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of danger, fear of sickness, fear of job loss, fear of death, fear of the unknown. You name it, you can be afraid of it. Some folks have a fear that good things won't last.

There is such a thing as healthy fear. I once was smacked in the head by a 1,000+ pound stallion. I don't dread horses now, but fear taught me to not make any sudden moves around them. The same healthy fear can protect you around high voltage electricity, steep mountain climbs, deadly weather conditions and the perils of war.

Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." The Bible says, "Perfect love drives out fear." When you feel the warmth of love, and find yourself loving in return, you may realize that there is no room left for fear.

8. I don't want to be anxious.
Along with it's companions, cowardice and fear, worry completes the package of mind-troubling conditions. A contemporary Christian group years ago produced a song called Today Is The Tomorrow That I Was Worried About Yesterday. It never made it as a hit, but it had a catchy tune and an awesome title. Whereas fear can, at times, prepare you for the worst, worry is just plain dumb.

Worry has to do with being anxious over things that are absolutely out of your control. Many times it is anticipation over events or actions that never materialize. Jesus asks, "Who, by worrying, can add one hour to his or her life? And who, by worrying, can add one inch to their height?" Medical science tells us that there is no proven connection between worry and gray hair. But anyone can "pull their hair out" over such a condition.

I find comfort in believing and accepting the fact that I am right where God wants me to be. If I am miserable, there is a purpose in it; I can learn from it. If I am joyful, enjoy the moment; don't stress over how long it will last. If "ignorance is bliss," then let me be stupid.

9. I don't want to be self-centered.
I've read that people who are such have a low self-esteem, and their behavior reinforces their need for acceptance and validation. The result is usually disappointing because nobody wants to be around them. As I see it we have two challenges to consider. First, how do I avoid being self-centered? A simple and effective solution is ask-and-answer. Be inquisitive of those around you. If you're not being asked a question, then ask one. If you are asked about yourself or your opinion, then answer with humility. Don't launch into a lengthy soliloquy that eventually puts people to sleep or makes them regret asking.

The second challenge is much more difficult to me: how to respond to people who are self-centered. I know the correct answer is to love them, but that's easier said than done. Our tendency is to say or do things that will shut them down (or at least shut them up), but that only ends in hurt. It takes practice and patience, but the goal is to briefly confirm that which is honorable in them, then redirect the conversation away from themselves to a mutual concern with more skillfully placed questions. Above all we must take care with our tone, choice of words and body language. Failure in any of these can hurt, and hurt deeply. I'm still working on both of these challenges. Pray for me.

Almost done. Stay with me.
STEVE